Zakai by Eve Langlais

Author:Eve Langlais [Langlais, Eve]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2023-06-20T18:30:00+00:00

Chapter 12

What possessed Zakai to fly toward a village and an old church rather than keeping Tamara on the cantorii, sleeping in his bed?

When she kissed him, he’d wanted nothing more than to strip her and cover her with his body, pleasuring her until she cried out in climax. Despite saying the wrong thing, she’d kissed him again as they beamed, and he suddenly wondered if she’d changed her mind. Perhaps she didn’t want to go to this church, after all. Maybe she wanted to be with him.

Should he ask? Could he be reading her wrong? She wasn’t like anyone he’d known before. She spoke of romance, and he understood exactly what she meant. His wanting to be with her. To shower her with compliments. To show her his appreciation by worshiping her.

In her world, romance led to love, and love was a commitment to another person. Zakai couldn’t be in love because he wasn’t fit to be with anyone—not after what’d happened to him.

Those years might be a blur in some respects, but other parts sometimes resurfaced all too detailed. The things done to him, the stuff he’d had to do to survive... Refusing never spared him the indignity. The taint on him remained despite Metatron claiming he was absolved of all sin. The principality had said upon Zakai’s return, “It is not a sin to survive.”

“Even if it breaks rules?” he’d asked.

“I wouldn’t be here otherwise,” Metatron had stated. “And neither would Elyon.”

A shocking admission. Yet despite Metatron’s reassurance, Zakai had remained aloof after his return—haunted by his experience. Cynical of some rituals he now perceived as nothing but pomp and ceremony. Take praying to God, for instance. Elyon didn’t hear every prayer. Nor did he care about one angel being held prisoner.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Tamara mumbled against his mouth.

“I am not worthy of you.” The admission—and his fear—slipped from him.

“Why would you say that?” she whispered as they coasted on cool currents in the darkness.

“Because I am tainted.”

“Sometimes, bad things happen to good people. It doesn’t mean we toss them aside.”

It was an analogy he could understand. “I am not like the other angels. I’m less invested in the rituals. I don’t like new places. Or people. I sometimes scream when I slumber.”

“You haven’t screamed around me,” she murmured before nipping his chin. But it was her observation that had him stuttering in mid-flap.

She was right. He’d not had any nightmares since they’d started spending time together.

“Don’t you dare drop me,” she admonished as he straightened their flight.

“Never.” It was a vow he wouldn’t break.

“It’s darker than I expected,” she noted.

“There is no moon tonight. Nor starlight due to the cloud cover.” A thin layer blocked the sky.

“How will you be able to tell where you’re going?”

“My sense of direction isn’t sight-based.”

“Is it innate? Or more like a GPS system?”

“A what?” Having his HALO absorb all the new languages didn’t mean he understood what everything meant. Some things required visualization to conceptualize.

“A GPS is a computer service that shows us where we are on a map.

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